I just can’t seem to find words to write. I’m weary. Battle weary. Tired. Worn out. Confused. Hurt. In the middle of situations we never thought we’d find ourselves in. I have tried writing a Five Minute Friday post for the past 2 weeks. Several times I’ve sat down but my mind is going so many ways and yet the only words that seem to want to come out are not words that I want to write. I refuse to stoop to the level of those around me. I will not call out those that have chosen to not have a relationship with us for whatever reason they have. But I am reminded; God’s word says he did not come to bring peace but division. (Luke 12:51). The word I chose to focus on this year is surrender. So right here, right now, I’m going to surrender those feelings that come with feeling abandoned by so many. I chose to focus on the truth.
This weeks FMF word is “middle.” I’ve broken the rules once again. But, this week, it is more important for me to write and push the publish button than to worry about the rules. And the end goal is for the participants to write…
I wonder why I feel the guilt for those situations. The situations we’ve found ourselves in the middle of over the years. Why, when we’ve done all that we can to live at peace, do I feel the guilt? Why when we’ve stood for truth am I, at times still, writhing in pain. I know that even though Jesus has overcome the world, Satan still attacks. My guilt? False! Truth? I have not always handled things perfectly. In fact, sometimes I have downright sinned. But I have also done my best to make things as right as possible and I have repented when I’ve sinned. What the other person does with my repentance is not up to me.
Lord Jesus help me know my responsibility.
Yes, no matter what those I’ve repented to do with it, here’s the truth. I deserve so much more. So much more pain, so much more devastation. I deserve to be abandoned. I deserve death.
But God in his infinite goodness sent Jesus. Oh yes! Without Jesus there is no hope.
With Jesus, all things are possible!
I will focus on the fact that I am God’s child. Chosen by Him and set apart for the work he has for me. And if that work involves being abandoned by people I thought were friends and by family so be it. The fact is God sent his son Jesus the Christ to take my place so I don’t have to live with the guilt, with the pain.
The fact is, even if all abandon me, Jesus will not abandon me!
And the fact is, the 5 people that I live with know my warts better than anyone. And I know theirs. And they love me and I love them! I can’t imagine my life without them.
What is God doing? I really don’t know. But I know this, I can trust him. Whatever comes our way, he has us right where he wants us. He will walk ahead of us, he will carry us when necessary.
He IS and he WILL.
Psalm 34 (esv)
1I will bless the Lord at all times;
his praise shall continually be in my mouth.
2My soul makes its boast in the Lord;
let the humble hear and be glad.
3Oh, magnify the Lord with me,
and let us exalt his name together!
4I sought the Lord, and he answered me
and delivered me from all my fears.
5Those who look to him are radiant,
and their faces shall never be ashamed.
6This poor man cried, and the Lord heard him
and saved him out of all his troubles.
7The angel of the Lord encamps
around those who fear him, and delivers them.
8Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good!
Blessed is the man who takes refuge in him!
9Oh, fear the Lord, you his saints,
for those who fear him have no lack!
10The young lions suffer want and hunger;
but those who seek the Lord lack no good thing.
11Come, O children, listen to me;
I will teach you the fear of the Lord.
12What man is there who desires life
and loves many days, that he may see good?
13Keep your tongue from evil
and your lips from speaking deceit.
14Turn away from evil and do good;
seek peace and pursue it.
15The eyes of the Lord are toward the righteous
and his ears toward their cry.
16The face of the Lord is against those who do evil,
to cut off the memory of them from the earth.
17When the righteous cry for help, the Lord hears
and delivers them out of all their troubles.
18The Lord is near to the brokenhearted
and saves the crushed in spirit.
19Many are the afflictions of the righteous,
but the Lord delivers him out of them all.
20He keeps all his bones;
not one of them is broken.
21Affliction will slay the wicked,
and those who hate the righteous will be condemned.
22The Lord redeems the life of his servants;
none of those who take refuge in him will be condemned.
Amen! And Amen!